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Steam Summer Sale Haiku Extravaganza

As many regular readers have already gathered, I am primarily a PC gamer. That being the case, I make heavy use of the Steam client. In the spirit of Steam Sales, where hundreds of thousands of gamers are encouraged to buy games they’ll likely never finish, I went on a fiscally irresponsible spending spree! I bought more games than I could even finishing downloading in a week, and have given a brief amount of playtime to each. Of course, because I couldn’t finish any games, I couldn’t produce any proper reviews. But, don’t worry! I (more or less) got the gist of each of them, so here’s a bunch of tl;dr Haikus representing the best of the summer sales.

 

Sid Meier’s Civilization 5: Gold Edition

Great new features and —

Holy Shit! I’ve got a spy.

Espionage, go!

 

Organ Trail

Stock up. Kill Zombies.

Make it across the country.

Damn, aiming is hard.

 

Super Meat Boy

The little red man

Wait, the little red meat man?

Well, he dies a lot.

 

Serious Sam 3: BFE

Don’t get serious

Have a blast with the C-4,

And enjoy the ride.

 

Dishonored

A thoughtful journey

To uncover who you are:

Magical Batman.

 

Tomb Raider

Ancient mysteries.

Stabbing dudes via arrows.

What was my mission?

 

In order to recover financially from the excess of games I bought, there won’t be a review next week. I will be back on August 4th, with a review of Castle Storm. See you then!

 

Questions? Complaints? Leave a comment below and let me know.

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